The Coo Didnae Hae Ony Teeth!

Like everyone else Peter got up with the sun and when his wife was making breakfast he went out to feed the cow and clean out the byre. When he returned he was very agitated shouting to his wife, “We maun sell the coo, Kate.” His wife enquired, “What’s wrang wi’ the coo?” Peter replied, “The coo. The coo’s got nae front teeth in the upper jaw, and if we dinnae get quit o’ her we’ll lose on her.” Kate listened with a worried expression on her face. “I’m real vexed at that; for man, she’s doing awfu’ weel an’ I’m swert to pairt wi’ her.” Peter would have none of it and decided to put it to the highest bidder. The neighbours knew the beast well and judged her to be one of the best in the district and wondered what could be possibly wrong with it. Some offered to buy the cow from Peter and he would say that they could if they wished, “She’s there as she is, an’ if you want to buy her, let me hear your offer.”

It didn’t take too long before someone put in an offer and the money and the cow changed hands. He then took the money and went in search of a replacement beast at the Beltane market. There were a good number of cows for sale and the first thing he did was to examine their mouths and he examined most of the cows there, however, he could not find one which had teeth in its upper jaw. Earnestly discussing this problem with a friend over a dram his friend told him that “coos dinnae hae upper front teeth.” So he bought a poorer beast and returned home and created a lot of mirth in the area for weeks to come!